Single Forever? Not with the Right Moves.

Let me introduce you to a few common single fish profiles out there…

The Scruffy/ Sexy/ Un-kept Look Unemployed Guy Should I make an exception that he still lives at home with mom? I mean, he saves $1,000+/month on rent and utilities to tuck away for that future house, so that makes financial sense right? And he at least moved from his little kid room to the mother-in-law apartment in the basement, therefore he has some independence right? Maybe he’s worth a second date, but definitely no third if I discover his mom makes prepared lasagnas and leaves them in his freezer. Why are some unemployed guys so visually attractive, but not attractive anywhere else? It really makes making dating decisions difficult.

The Christian Grey Should I be scared or really excited? Enough said…

The Conservative Sweet Shy Guy Man, this guy is really hot and we have mega chemistry, but I have to admit that waiting till date three for a kiss is slowly killing me inside. I secretly know it is well worth the wait, and I have a feeling it won’t take much longer, plus the shyness is pure cute! Ahh, being the victim of hard-to-get, can be so exciting and painful at the same time. I suppose I will follow my brain on this one, and know that a solid foundation could lead to many great things to come (hopeful). In the meantime however, I will just daydream and continue to cuddle with my furry four-legged companion at night to pass the time.

The Heavy Drinker Hey, this is super fun having salt in my belly button to accompany your tequila shot, but is it always going to take 5 IPA’s, 2 Fireball shots, and a few rounds of Patron Silver to get to 2nd base? I’m not saying making out in the rain and friending everyone at the bar on Instagram isn’t fun, but not remembering how I made it home and whether I sexted my ex isn’t too thrilling the next morning. And why does my phone have a new number in it by the name of “Austin Hot Girl #2”? Did I switch sides last night? Well at least I look hot in those Instagram pics. What filter was that? Lo-Fi? Ah yes, even amongst inebriation I still choose my favorite filter that always makes me look sexier! How do you do it Instagram!?

The Wealthy Workaholic Yes, it is pretty hot to know that you own three houses, one of which is on Orcas Island with stunning views of the ferry traffic. It is great that you are dedicated to your job, and you are excellent at what you do. Your LinkedIn has 1000+ connections (yes, there is a tier after 500+), and you have 14 recommendations from various President’s and CEO’s around the Seattle area. That really is a commendable achievement, but where do I fit in to this picture? So far, our dates  have had to be within a 2 block radius from your office, and I get a feeling that I am just your Tuesday night girl. Do you have a hotter girl that you see on Fridays? Part of me wants to turn my intuition off and focus on the fact that there are no attorneys in my family, so this could be a nice addition, but honestly I feel like I could drown at your lake house and you likely wouldn’t notice. Maybe the maid would, but lets be real…she doesn’t look like much of a swimmer. I foresee this relationship sinking fast, and I can’t keep picturing the scene from Titanic where Rose releases Jack Dawson into the icy cold North Atlantic Ocean and his face just drifts deep into the sea. Yup, that would be me. Although, OK Cupid said we were a 72% match, I am fairly confident that it is in fact closer to a 0% match. This one needs to get deleted and blocked ASAP.

By now, you have likely caught on that I am a female writer. If you are currently chasing the ladies (or have in the past), then just replace “guy” with “chick”. Do any of these types sound familiar in your dating life? With so many different types of people and personalities out there (sometimes you even get multiple personalities in the same person…bonus!), there is bound to be a wide array of potentially awkward dating scenarios.

Have you ever experienced the tension when the bill comes? Do we go 50/50 on the first date? Should the girl not even attempt to pay, to set a trend for the future? This would likely work if you have a Microsoft man. Or should you play it safe, pull out your debit card (but really it’s your library card) in slow-motion so it looks like you are being fair, and not expecting any hand-outs? What about the  ol’ yawn-and-stretch arm around the shoulder move?  That one is a classic and seems to work every time. Us ladies obviously recognize that you aren’t really yawning, but it’s cute that you want to wrap your arm around me. While your arm is up there, I could really go for a neck rub…

Ladies and gents, whatever the scenario is, we want to hear about it. This is your opportunity to stretch your brains to come up with a universal dating scenario that would make viewers LOL and want to share it with their friends. Whether this hits home in your past, present, or future, we have all been there! Check out one of our latest contests, Dating 101: All The Moves, for the opportunity to be 7k richer. Hey, that’s 1% towards that new lake house!

This blog was only partially based on a true story.


Meme E

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